Chapter Three

Hi, Mom. Lately I have struggled with the concept of being present. I have been in San Francisco for less than forty-eight hours and look how much has happened. The world seems to be moving too fast. I guess most people would worry that they could not catch time, but I feel as though time has finally caught me.

I have spent my whole childhood dreaming about the moment when I could talk with Paul Salazar. Now I know what the famous golfer meant when he said, “I never got this far in my dreams.” Reality has caught up to me. I had a calculated move for every step of the way up until this point. I never planned for the moment after the moment.

Shortly after Salazar entered the lab, I found myself trying to casually follow him through the rest of the building. Soon enough, we were walking past the indoor forest and out the front door. Aniyah waved as we passed her with a gentle nod and soft smile.

The outside air was crisp. The afternoon was a perfect sixty-five degrees, blue skies, and a slight breeze. Salazar was talking about his favorite Mexican food truck and I agreed to give it a try, despite having absolutely no appetite due to my nerves.

About two blocks down from Atlas Labs was a park that stood on top of a hill. From the top I could see the heart of the city some twenty miles below us. We grabbed our food and took our seats in the park on a bench; I could see why this was his favorite lunch as I squared up against a burrito the size of my head.

“So, Joel, what’s your story?”

“My story? Well, umm, I’m studying engineering at MIT. I’m originally from New York and it’s always been my dream to work at Atlas Labs. So… here I am,” I replied with a shaky voice. What kind of question is that, I thought: ‘what’s your story?’

“That’s a pretty shit story, Joel.”

Great. I finally get to meet my childhood hero and he laughs at the very first thing I tell him.

“Joel,” Salazar continued, “I don’t give a shit about what you are studying or where you go to school. I want to know what makes you excited. What are you passionate about? Why are you the person you are?”

“Oh. Well, then give me a second try,” I replied as I tried to quickly find the root of who I really was under pressure. “My story? My story started twenty years ago when my mom died during childbirth. Everything I have done since has been in order to live two lives’ worth of experience: one for me, one for her. I am passionate about the idea that man can spend his life doing whatever he chooses, including doing what no man has done before. I know my life is on the cusp of doing something really wonderful and Atlas Labs is just one step on that journey to find out whatever that something is.”

“Much better,” Salazar said. “You are going to be asked your story by everyone you meet; maybe not as directly as I did, but asked nonetheless. You need to have a great story. That one was good, keep working on it.”

“How do I answer that question without words? You said people will not be as direct, so how can I be as indirect in my answer?”

“Fair question. Take this morning, for example. You were the only person that read the inscription on the front lawn. How did you feel when you found out that you were the only one? Probably shocked, am I right? You probably thought to yourself ‘all I did was read a sign and remember the words. That’s not special.’ And you’d be right. What you did was not special to you, because that is who you are. You are someone that sees the world as an exploration, trying to soak up as much as possible. You’re probably good at random trivia aren’t you?”

“Yes,” I laughed. “My friends and I go to the bar every Wednesday night. Our name is The Dream Team. I think we had a twenty-one week winning streak this past year.”

“Exactly. You are, by nature, observant. You are, by nature, a lot of things. It is your job to find out what those things are and live them out every single day in every situation. Some people call this your ‘brand.’ I like to think of it as your soul. Once you recognize your soul and live it day in and day out, your story will be direct and you will no longer need words to tell it.”

“Ok, you’re right and I think I get it. I am a lot of things that I am yet to solidly define. I now know to be observant in all situations, but what about those other things I’m not entirely aware of yet? How can I live those in every situation if I don’t know what they are?”

“There’s only one way that I’m aware of. You have to learn to be alone.”

“Like meditation?” I asked.

“Could be. Being alone can take many forms, but I’m willing to bet you’ve never gone to a movie theater by yourself. Why don’t people? Because they are insecure about the thought of experiencing something by themselves for their own pleasure. You are living this summer in the greatest city in the country to be alone. You have the redwoods, the beaches, you can walk the streets at all hours of the night.”

“So you’re saying that by learning to be alone, I’ll essentially learn who I am?”

“You’re halfway there if you truly understand the sentence you just spoke. I cannot tell you what you will find within yourself, but I know that you will indeed find the self– however that manifests for you. By the end of the summer, I want you to be completely comfortable in your own skin, fully self-aware of the story you are writing.”

“How did you spend your time alone when you were my age?” I asked.

“When I was your age, all of my hobbies outside of work were individual activities. I’d go to a café and read, I’d play golf by myself, I learned how to play a few instruments. They started as an escape from the world; a chance to catch my breath from my daily interactions. But then I soon realized that in these moments, I started to think. Never stop thinking, Joel.”

“Here,” Salazar continued. “This is my business card with my personal cell phone number on it. Call or text me anytime. Congratulations on winning the first intern challenge. Let’s get back to the office before they burn it down without me there.”

“Mr. Salazar,” I started, “I cannot thank you enough. This... this is the start of something big for me. I can feel it.”

“Remember this feeling. It’ll get you through the hard times that come when anyone attempts what you inevitably try.”

With that, we packed up our things and headed back to the office. But something was different– I could feel it inside of me. Talking with Salazar was like talking with an extension of my own consciousness personified. In a single conversation he had confirmed and validated every decision I had ever made. In that moment, I vowed to win every intern challenge if it meant this one on one time with my idol.

When we got back to The Cube, I found my way back to The Dreamatorium where I had to reintroduce myself, explaining that I was half conscious the first time I met the team. This time I remembered my technique and met Scott the lead project manager, Vishnu the chemical engineer, and Drew the doctor that managed the dreamers’ vitals. Then there was Carl, the project supervisor.

The rest of the day was spent going over the equipment with a few more dreamer demonstrations. Admittedly, I never got over that initial awe of seeing the room light up with the holograms. With so much information thrown my way, that first day and subsequent week flew by.